reflections from a heavy heart

It was a good Sunday, worked out, did some errands, and was putting away some clothes before calling it a night and the phone rang - it was mom's ring - the normal one, but I had this odd feeling as I answered it - its not like she doesn't ever call a little before 10 - it would have only been 9 there - but I did have that fleeting thought. Answer the phone and got the normal what are doing told her and then comes the sombering moment - I have something you won't want to hear, but you do want to hear - "Mr Jim died in a plane crash this afternoon." Definitely the last words I would have expected to hear her say. Mr. Jim was one of those people who would come up in our conversations from time to time and I don't really remember the last time I actually saw him in person, yet he was still the kind of person you always knew was there if you needed him. Their current pastor really captures his spirit in his blog entry last night (http://michaelcarney.blogspot.com/).
When I was a little girl though, he did have a huge impact on my life, again always there, always smiling, and greeting you with a big hug. As my family and I have digested the news of his fateful plane ride yesterday, memory after memory that our families have shared have surfaced. My dad's most recent take on it was "its still sinking in - he was about as friendly loving person as I've ever known." The first time we really hung out, another friend had invited them to a New Year's Eve party at our house, Mr Jim parked on the curb because he wasn't going to stay long - I think the story goes that they left at 3am and thus was the first of many New Year's Eves at our house and Superbowls at their house. Then there were all of those special in between events - too many Saints games to count, who knows how many shared meals, general conversations, passing waves on the sidewalks at church, and one thing held true - Mr Jim always made me feel special. On hearing that he's gone, I do have comfort in knowing He loved Jesus and is with him now, but my heart breaks for Mrs. Adele, Jay, and Jay's family. This was honestly a life cut short and the world is now less one amazing, good God-loving man.

Crisis - mulling over some common topics

I was sitting at church last night and was able to experience church leaders yielding to a call from God to change direction from planned activities to freely follow God. What resulted was an extended time of praying and music worship while encouraging everyone to meet God and ask him what we needed to release to him. For a period, some gathered in the room took time speaking those things that most burdened them. As I listened to the cries of the heart of other to God, many mentioned family members who don't know God, there was also mention of being blessed even though jobs and houses are being lost (or could be soon), and the US having so much compared to other parts of the world. As I reflected on these pleas and confessions to God and thanked Him for this opportunity to be still and meet Him, I found myself tying this experience to many things I've thought and read in recent months.

Forgive me if this entry doesn't have the best flow, I'm trying to get these thoughts out of my head. The statement of America having so much really resonated with me, and brought my thoughts directly to 2 other topics. First, I thought wow, you know that's a hard concept to really think about and believe when every time I turn on the TV news in the morning, click on cnn.com, or listen to radio new brief I'm greeted by the new $ amount on an economic stimulus package, how much closer we are to the times of the Great Depression, a new record of foreclosures & housing price dips, and top it all off with a list of companies that filing for bankruptcy. So, I think, how did this, "the greatest country in the world" get to this point, which brought me to the thought of a statement a friend of mine has made several time over the past several years, "The responsibility of sins of one generation can be passed on to subsequent generations" - she but usually brings it up in reference to the racial turmoil we face and responsibility that modern generations have for the wrongs our ancestors, but I digress and am going to apply this sentiment in a slightly different way.

I know these aren't new thoughts and other Christ followers have probably discussed this for countless hours, but how do we bring brouader attention to the spiritual side of the crisis that our country and world faces. Why is it that we as a country will turn to prayer when we're in military conflicts, or when terrorists kill thousands of innocent people, but when our economic infrastructure is cumbling - where' s the call to unite and call to God for the wisdom to correct our actions? I'm not hearing it in the same volumes that I heard the calls to pray after 911 or seeing the masses of reminders as the yellow ribbons reminding us to pray for our troops in the early 90's. The reason, I think is probably multi-fold, but partly that we tend to put God in a box, as a society that is, God automatically comes to mind when we feel out of control, are fearful, need comfort, and/ or are hurting emotionally/physically. So why not when it comes to our money, well I think we think we can fix it or that our elected officials can fix it. We're really good at throwing money at situations and we think we understand money, so its in the bounds of things we can handle. Its this attitude that for years we as a society have begun to worship money and if there's one thing that I think we see over and over again in the Bible, its that when people start worshipping something other than God that family, tribe, country gets brought to its knees. So, why aren't we realizing this, we stumbling to our knees, but we keep trying to fix the situation ourselves. I'm not saying that we need to irresponsibly ignore our financial crisis, and I absolutely adcovate smarter spending and abondoning practices that take advantage of people and loop holes. I think we need to acknowledge God and ask Him for mercy.