After 13 years and 13 roommates, I decided it was time to give living alone a shot. I had a couple of spans of time in the 13 years when I lived alone and hadn't enjoyed the experience. So, 3 months ago as I said goodbye to my most recent roommate and decided not to resume the search for yet another housemate, I worried mostly about not sleeping well and getting scared when I would be home alone. When I share living space its really easy to explain away things that go bump in the night as something that one of the other people in the home must be doing.
Well, I've been shocked, my initial concerns really haven't come to fruition. Sure it was a little hard to adjust to normal house noises that no one else is around to be making, but after a couple of weeks I wasn't waking up to those things or getting too spooked by them. Yeah, I do call someone to be on the phone with me as I investigate all of the closets when I've been gone a few days to make sure I don't have any unwanted guests, but that's a result of my mother's training not living alone...
Anyway, to the title of this blog, finding a good place. What I've learned in this time of living alone is that I'm a more social person than I ever thought. Its the social end of living alone that I'm not crazy about. I miss having someone to talk to in the evenings or Sat. morning. I find myself alone with my thoughts more than I ever have before (oh yeah I finished school about the same time I made the jump to no roommates, so I have more thinking time too). At first I found my thoughts a scary place - yes peanut gallery, there maybe some truth to that statement. Anyway, I'm learning not to be afraid of my thoughts though and to really appreciate myself and my friends. I know that I need to be deliberate about interacting with my friends - especially on the weekends, or I find myself depressed and not likng myself much. So, yes I agree with the old adage - "you can help yourself by helping others" or at least I'm happier when I'm doing things with other people, I believe God really made us to need one another. So, I'm finding a good place by not filling the space of my house with other people and their stuff, but by filling the space of my life with friendships.
yes, one day I'll hopefully share living space again as an extension of one of these meaningful friendships, but for now I'm enjoying the experience of being good with just me
PS - this is not to say that I've not cared for my roommates or had good relationships with them - I did and still do in most cases, but I'm learning now that we're not living together how important those dinners we shared and quick chats about how our days went were to my overall well-being
